Wednesday, August 22, 2007

gay adoption agencies - advice

Dear Evolved Moms: My sister and her partner are in the process of trying to adopt domestically. They got some bad news today that the agency they have been working with has a new director who is not as open to placing children with "non-traditional families". She is heartbroken. I am trying to do some research about other agencies that are open to placing children with gay parents. Do you have any leads, advice? Thanks very much. Beth

Dear Beth: You rock. Love the support from families!!

There are many agencies that "work" with gay families.
There are many agencies that do this secretly
and others overtly
some are Proud to have us
others seem to do this with bile in their throats
Some states are openly supportive - not too many
Some states outright ban it
So here is what I know:
Friends in adoption (FIA) in Vermont and
the Independent Adoption Center (many offices)
are the biggest and most supportive that I know of
I have only worked personally with FIA
and I know they pour their hearts and souls into each case
Gay straight single married old young
same same same to them

That being said.
I live in a VERY cool state
we went with FIA - in Vermont
another very cool state
we were out out out
Our son's call came from Louisiana
a way uncool state (for this kinda stuff)
thus the rub
complications came up
homestudy needed to be rewritten
stress, time, stress

So here is what I think:
ask questions upfront
get referrals from friends
never promise anything you can't live with
when folks are desperate for a child they promise crazy things
specific religious practices
not to be out...
You must feel comfortable
this WILL BE stressful so you need to feel cared for and loved
if not - move on to the next agency on your list

do not settle
do not compromise
do not allow yourself to be bullied.
and then call FIA and the International Adoption Center and see if they know of a place
near you.

A child is out there - needing your sister as a mom

Gay adoption (noun) a happy festive event where a child joins a loving and amazingly hip two mom or two dad or single gay mum or papa house. Much love and giggles ensue.
Gay Adoption (alt def) a much misunderstood and amazingly threatening subculture which actively scares the shit out of many conservatives and most Republicans.

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At August 27, 2007 12:39 PM , Blogger Clementine said...

If you're in MA, The Home for Little Wanderers warmly welcomes LGBT families. They do public (DSS) and private adoptions, too. You can find info at


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