Monday, May 28, 2007

Daughters preferred?

Dear Evolved Moms: Do you know of a way to ensure that we conceive a daughter? As lesbians, as women, we really feel prepared to raise a girl. And we are not really sure we are open to a boy. Okay, in truth we really do not want a man in our lives. We don't really understand them on many levels. Any advice? Grace and Cory

Okay Ladies here it is: No
But no on several levels

I understand the question
you are women who love women
you have moments of "I really don't get it" with men
Maybe you are a separatist
Maybe you dislike men
Maybe you just really don't like the idea of having a boy around you
Maybe you knew you were a dyke
from the minute you were born
and have actually never seen a penis in person

But parenting gives no absolutes
there are no black and white answers or guarantees
in fact the opposite is true

If your daughter grows up and is straight
she may marry a man
She may sleep with men
she may have 3 sons for you to cherish and love
she may be a Republican
marry out of your religion
marry someone of another race
not marry at all
she may be homophobic
you just don't know

In parenting you will never have full control
the only rule
is that to be a parent
you must be ready to love fully
no matter what comes
health issues
you must love unconditionally

My son,
is a gift
I truly think he may turn out to be Alex P. Keaton
but I will love him fiercely

And let me just say this
I am a woman who loves a woman
a big dyke too
and I accept
that without men
there would be no world
To make your daughter you need to buy the sperm
that comes from men
and take that into your wife

To love a child
you must love completely
and let go of all else.

I understand the fear of difference
But when you get pregnant, your control is over.

In answer to your question:
I do not know of a
100% guaranteed way
to only conceive a daughter
There are many avenues people have tried
some work more than others
and I know you probably have
already researched
when during ovulation to inseminate
what position to be in
which sperm are faster...

But that is not what I feel matters
be ready to love your child completely
and then your child will come to you
But please wait, until you are ready
to fully love
no matter what


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