real mother

I held him when he was 5 hours old
changed his first meconium poop
panicked at his first real injury - a hand caught in a treadmill (he was okay)
I have answered the call to every nightmare, recital, practice, tear and need
I have napped with, been napped upon, been up all night, been yelled at, and bear hugged
I have been blessed, loved, inspired by and fallen in love
with this boy
my son

last night
he said to me
as we were talking before bed
Are you my real mother?
a girl at school, who is also African American
told him I could not be - as I am white
and that his "real mother" could have kept him - if she wanted to

I knew the day would come
we have been very honest and open
yet still I dreaded hearing those words
wishing I could have been there and protected or moderated the moment
Yes baby - mommy and mama are your real mothers
You also have a birth mother
but a mother does not need to be called "real"
A mother loves you everyday, good or bad, and is there for all - everyday- forever

I waited for the next question. He looked like it was going to be a big one
one of the ones I have feared
Like why did she, or am I not good enough...
He looked at me so seriously and asked
what did the plane look like on your trip to get me?

All my worries.
All he needed was one question answered.
I am sure many more will come in time
and I will answer them all honestly

Today at school he walked up to his friend
I stood next to him and smiled at her
she is only 6
and not adopted - I know it is confusing
"real moms aren't the ones who give birth to you - they are ones that love you everyday"
he told her and then said to me
"I feel better mama"

Can you get more real than that?
what a blessing
I have been given