Your Day - Advice to a Worried Texan

This situation kills me first – then just pisses me off!

“Wanting Understanding” wrote to us from Texas.
They are ready to get married but her father not only refuses to walk her down the aisle – but even to attend. “How do I get him to realize how important this is to us?” she writes.

When people discuss wanting a child, I often tell them this:
This child of someday
Is a person
And before you dream your dream
Before you buy the crib or booties or toys or mini-Harley
Remember this
Someday this little person
may choose another path than yours
another religion, or educational path or career
maybe they will marry someone of a different race, or choose to not have a children
maybe they will be single forever, or gay or a T or unsure for their lives
maybe even a republican or, dare I say, an NRA card-holder
or maybe they will choose to be nothing, offer nothing and drift though life
but your job as their parent
is to love them
and to love them fiercely
to assist in guiding their choices and support the ones they make – forever, and without strings
I am sure one of mine will be "Alex P. Keaton” for a time – Zion already would prefer ties to jeans, and Torin, no matter how hard I refuse to make the purchase, just wants to be a princess and have a Barbie
But, luckily, Zion does, too!
As long as neither gets Barbie's anorexia or horrid self-image or dainty un-sports-able ankles
I’ll be fine

Your wedding day
the happiest day of your life
is yours forever
Having someone there who truly does not bless it in his heart
may just really taint your day
your day
your day
say it
“My Day”
This is your dream, your life
your love to share
And all those who witness are blessed to do so
and all those who miss out
have missed witnessing a blessing and a miracle
and that is punishment enough

I urge you to be open and love fiercely
To shout out to the world through all of your guests that you accept no less than this perfect love and in fact
You demand the world take note
Your day is real
Your day
is yours
Being invited was a true gift on your part to someone
who has failed in his job
Maybe someday he will come around
many do
and maybe it will be awesome on that day
But this day is yours

Jessie and I wore no shoes
Eleven months after we met we were married
before the law recognized
A Pagan, Unitarian, Native-American ceremony
That was what we wanted
on our day
Many came and blessed us
some did not
Many blessed later – much later
some have not
But our day was truly unmarred
because we made it
Our day

Blessings for your day!