tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-218219032024-03-07T19:25:46.793-05:00Evolved Moms - BlogThe advice and rants of two opinionated lesbian moms and their adventures in parenting and life!Jessiehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/06923270988911976249noreply@blogger.comBlogger91125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-45053434065102196652013-01-16T11:36:00.002-05:002013-01-16T11:36:24.429-05:00Internet Addition and Tweens<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
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This is what I posted on my son's Facebook page today - What, Facebook? Yup, thats what I said!<br />
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<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">THIS IS A MESSAGE FROM ZION’S MOMS: Zion is 12 years old and is NOT allowed a Facebook page. This is something he knew very well. Zion chose to use my computer, stay up all night and chat with all of you. He created this on a school computer, also against the rules. I see several of you on here who are </span><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">also too young to have accounts, are your parents aware??? Maybe they should be. I also see that many of you are doing this during the day or well into the night. Also interesting. Please do NOT communicate with Zion on Facebook nor cellphone. He is in significant trouble for doing this and has lost our trust and our respect. I see a generation of people addicted to the internet. Kids who have no attention span and seem incapable of functioning without their technology pacifiers. There is a whole world out here to enjoy. My advice, be careful how you communicate - what you say on the internet lasts forever. Be aware of what rules you choose to break - it might be YOUR parents here next on YOUR page. You have no idea how the silly cute things you think you say here will affect your future. Jobs, interviews, college. What you do here, this is your first resume. Your first introduction to the world. Welcome to the world, Zion. This is what people will remember.</span>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-31246173649463863662012-11-08T10:21:00.002-05:002012-11-08T10:21:47.175-05:00A Second Pause<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPjJ5inN_Al14ltORISB74fmMNhWQQt7HgvfhPGw_HEg5Ev9dgOGWQ1_CbI8vFeXWMxxUl-5xv9dok7qFgMw1d-B1L6l1E36MgVJUO5PFhqxTRWd68k63LESfgZdEP0LEFSaORQ/s1600/2Human_evolution.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="200" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEihPjJ5inN_Al14ltORISB74fmMNhWQQt7HgvfhPGw_HEg5Ev9dgOGWQ1_CbI8vFeXWMxxUl-5xv9dok7qFgMw1d-B1L6l1E36MgVJUO5PFhqxTRWd68k63LESfgZdEP0LEFSaORQ/s320/2Human_evolution.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A second pause: So I took some crap yesterday on this post - both on and off facebook. So let me be clear:</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Throughout history, up to and including present day, the majority had pushed, shoved and forced the minority to bend, to compromise, to accept less than, to give up and break. My marriage is not equal in this country, I do not share the same benefits, I have fears that are a reality regardin</span><br />
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g my family safety and my spouse and healthcare and hate crimes. I drop her hand in public when it is not safe, I don't kiss her at school so that others are comfortable. WE have always had less and lived with less and felt thankful for the slow moving progress where it could be seen. We HOPED for acceptance for years, QUESTIONED our safety daily - in large cities and small, CRIED at the lack of equality in this nation. I bend and bend and bend.<br /><br />One day, when I am equal to you, when my rights are the same as yours, my family protected - on that day, I will begin to compromise. BUT do NOT DARE to ask me to bend one more time, compromise one more ideal, break one more promise to my children of an equal tomorrow. I have a right to be angry. I have less and am aghast that others, you know who you are, did not care about our rights, my rights, my children's safety, women, nor even freedom. Do not dare to ask me to bend again. This is why women and gays and many groups stay down. Because at the first sign of progress, we were taught to be thankful for the small morsel of equality we received. We are told, look we accept you here, isn't that enough?!? It is NOT enough. I am thankful that we have a beginning and I will not bend again. I will fight until we are all equal.<br /><br />And by the way - this page is mine. If you don't like it - don't read it.</div>
Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-34753353678139104102012-11-08T10:13:00.001-05:002012-11-08T10:22:02.190-05:00A Brief Pause<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-5OXclFyuXBM6ybsjXV_UUtMyqx0zsPwvi1UwYQPD0gb0vvvdEKdTomUHEOwNT9debVE_9S-tqEuKQrjfZuGucRInECMOdgSh_zISTJTTcIJMAV1uBXtdQiriTNASL40gVe39RQ/s1600/rainbow+obama.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="230" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh-5OXclFyuXBM6ybsjXV_UUtMyqx0zsPwvi1UwYQPD0gb0vvvdEKdTomUHEOwNT9debVE_9S-tqEuKQrjfZuGucRInECMOdgSh_zISTJTTcIJMAV1uBXtdQiriTNASL40gVe39RQ/s320/rainbow+obama.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">A brief pause: </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 18px;">Its so clear to me now after the election. That those people I know who voted for Romney, have never faced oppression, never lived in fear of being denied access to a sick spouse or denied benefits, never worried about two parent adoptions or hate crimes. Never actually struggled with money. When your only concern is financial, when you are wealthy enough to buy your right to cho</span><br />
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ose, or healthcare or a third home, you don't need to worry about those smaller things - like fundamental rights. They don't touch you. And you feel free to not care. But now, for four more years I feel safe, I feel my family is safe, and now that I can relax I can see clearly. And I am ashamed at all of you who took this vote for granted. You took my family for granted. And truly I am embarrassed by you and sad for you and for what you do not feel and see and understand and live. I have standing to be angry. Your vote could have hurt my family. And thankfully we won. And you are now about to enter four years with MY PRESIDENT.</div>
Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-77458106809376563522012-04-25T11:17:00.000-05:002012-04-25T11:17:36.389-05:00<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWeKui25M5mOd6fEvlYjr1T9BIP6X2DPRunjDNLm3XPhpCq-QGKKA9oDe9DleAiuAqtuU39HhalECR-TIenlna02iFIDk-KIV9Dl89DHShGSf0xoQrOjWrVcmoT_hQuERT95sS_A/s1600/Dyslexia.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="241" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgWeKui25M5mOd6fEvlYjr1T9BIP6X2DPRunjDNLm3XPhpCq-QGKKA9oDe9DleAiuAqtuU39HhalECR-TIenlna02iFIDk-KIV9Dl89DHShGSf0xoQrOjWrVcmoT_hQuERT95sS_A/s320/Dyslexia.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;"><br /></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I grew up a kid who struggled to learn to read. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">In a system that recognized dyslexia as a boy thing. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">all else was laziness</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">over chattiness</span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">she is so verbal</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">cant possibly be her learning</span></span></div>
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<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">she does not try</span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I was alternatively schooled</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">focus was on behavior and not learning. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">for years.....</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">In law school</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I read every case out loud to Jessie, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">over coffee at a small cafe on Newbury street</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">or in our small apt</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">under </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">lamplight</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">it was painful</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">and embarrassing</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">and romantic</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I fear libraries </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">shied away from reading to the kids at first. </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">But slowly found my footing</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">forcing myself to read aloud</span></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; text-align: left;"><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">disregarding the stuttering</span></span></span><br />
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">the tripping over any word I had not seen</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">had not memorized</span></span></div>
<div style="text-align: left;">
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span></div>
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">Today, at 43, </span><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">I cried at a book, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">or a book made me cry, </span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">for the first time ever.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">amazing. scary. brilliant.</span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">heart pounding and </span><span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">unfamiliar</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I look for reassurance that this is normal</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I realize I have missed so much</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">heart slowing down</span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">I am ecstatic and exhausted </span></span><br />
<span style="color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif;"><span style="font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span></span><br />
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px; text-align: left;">43 is gonna be a great year.</span>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-23996367776953674882012-02-15T15:03:00.003-05:002012-02-15T15:51:35.027-05:00History of Me<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioS0aDFBcwXRx917sSEcLcPl6qPJDV4bc9-RKYhLor7YfIPz4-Xuo5ZfWF4T5ysEiJkiVZklhUwFlBWSy0jqtsZcyi2YKsIVjRXkVCiLnEe4y_Ug0rFzFvXqI0KWSxOAfebJ-s_A/s1600/kids.jpg"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 240px; height: 320px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEioS0aDFBcwXRx917sSEcLcPl6qPJDV4bc9-RKYhLor7YfIPz4-Xuo5ZfWF4T5ysEiJkiVZklhUwFlBWSy0jqtsZcyi2YKsIVjRXkVCiLnEe4y_Ug0rFzFvXqI0KWSxOAfebJ-s_A/s320/kids.jpg" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5709457071740438370" /></a>Sometimes<div>I wonder</div><div>how history affects me</div><div>mine and the world's</div><div><br /></div><div>I have black children</div><div>From the beginning I have dressed them up</div><div>perhaps over dressed to the point of preppy</div><div>shiny, polite, knowing appropriate manners and etiquette</div><div>so no one could ever judge, point, assume, falsely accuse</div><div>but of course the judgement comes</div><div>by virtue of life and history and the color of their skin</div><div><br /></div><div>I wonder how much my history affects our daily lives</div><div>I was born to an american army doctor</div><div>who was given a choice</div><div>Vietnam or Munich</div><div>even so close after the Holocaust - Germany seemed safer</div><div>I was born to Jews</div><div>who were snuck matzoh by the army base priest</div><div>to parents who chose a Catholic name for their son and put him in catholic school</div><div>in Germany</div><div>I was born there.</div><div>While my father delivered another baby, I came to be</div><div><br /></div><div>back in America</div><div>I went to Hebrew school, never said cancer or poop or sex, out loud</div><div>at 13 my head was x-rayed</div><div>while getting my braces on</div><div>for my nose job</div><div>it was expected of me</div><div>that was my mother's history</div><div>to blend</div><div><br /></div><div>and still I wonder how much it has dictated and </div><div>on some level </div><div>directed my life</div><div>my kids' lives</div><div>We live in a world that is so fast</div><div>technology</div><div>politics</div><div>TMZ</div><div>we forget the past but it still seems to have control</div><div><br /></div><div>I am a radical </div><div>I am conservative</div><div>I believe in monogamy</div><div>marriage</div><div>I am anti-drug</div><div>I am sober</div><div>I believe kids need a parent at home</div><div>I am a lesbian</div><div>I have tattoos</div><div>my children are black</div><div>I am spiritual</div><div>magical</div><div>Pagan</div><div>I am adamant to the point of rage about gay marriage and equality</div><div>I believe women have the right to control their bodies</div><div>and to abortion</div><div>but I know I could never have one</div><div><br /></div><div>am I a walking contradiction?</div><div>or am I the new world</div><div>I acknowledge</div><div>that history</div><div>world and mine</div><div>informs my every move </div><div>and that of my family</div><div><br /></div><div>I accept that I will try to cure all ails with food</div><div>but I will also love</div><div>I accept that I will never (loudly) say cancer or poop </div><div>but I will speak honestly of them when asked.</div><div>I can say sex loudly. got over that one.</div><div>and I did NOT have my nose fixed</div><div><br /></div><div>so mote it be</div><div><br /></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-30917759030851191872011-02-23T21:26:00.002-05:002011-02-23T21:28:55.467-05:00Mr. Pres. Thanks.<a onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdD9rw0h3kDiG5MVemHHOgk97G2P4VUEJvNrSlXmKerwUC5E2Ck5klbiluRNIN6MvNzDPZ6X22G_WC4u8rwc5f2vg-4C7qXwmgqURBHg6hQYwO3rrkjg1LZoGIiNvGn8OOiHoydQ/s1600/DOMA_1.JPG"><img style="float:left; margin:0 10px 10px 0;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 320px; height: 232px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgdD9rw0h3kDiG5MVemHHOgk97G2P4VUEJvNrSlXmKerwUC5E2Ck5klbiluRNIN6MvNzDPZ6X22G_WC4u8rwc5f2vg-4C7qXwmgqURBHg6hQYwO3rrkjg1LZoGIiNvGn8OOiHoydQ/s320/DOMA_1.JPG" border="0" alt="" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5577077115865823810" /></a><br /><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div><br /></div><div>I don't need the Constitution</div><div>to show me </div><div>how amazing</div><div>and true</div><div>and blessed I am </div><div>by this love</div><div>but I would be damn happy</div><div>to have it</div><div>Hell yes.</div><div>Thanks Man</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-85684625092974479462011-02-22T11:39:00.003-05:002011-02-22T11:44:34.816-05:00Olive<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilcfg5l0jTE83KSkOq4SnNW6fqq9oSmME9y-EFhfuL6XOEttC2FiKkM5uM1Xqpd4ZDoJRaBj3_Lxn6b8j-ZuH9CzcH86E1D4P-_alu8XJ7CBDEoGwLnNt65OMry4vG80KPwVGvFw/s1600/olive"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 225px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 225px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576554603474324690" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEilcfg5l0jTE83KSkOq4SnNW6fqq9oSmME9y-EFhfuL6XOEttC2FiKkM5uM1Xqpd4ZDoJRaBj3_Lxn6b8j-ZuH9CzcH86E1D4P-_alu8XJ7CBDEoGwLnNt65OMry4vG80KPwVGvFw/s320/olive" /></a><br /><br /><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><br /><div></div><br /><div>We drove though</div><div>our small new <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">england</span> town</div><div>at the side of the road</div><div>we saw the most perfect traditional snow man</div><div>only the carrot was removed - hole still there</div><div>and the carrot was very happily replaced much lower</div><div>some 10 year old boys having fun with <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_1" class="blsp-spelling-corrected">their</span> new</div><div>penis man</div><br /><div>when we got home</div><div>Torin said she was going to make a snow person</div><div>but she needed an olive</div><div><span id="SPELLING_ERROR_2" class="blsp-spelling-error">hee</span>. Love her</div><div>I guess when you are 7, that is about the size of your vagina</div><div>equality for snow people</div><div>equal representation</div><div>go get that olive babe!</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-60216535238060163192011-02-22T11:27:00.002-05:002011-02-22T11:37:05.113-05:00Oh what a year!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4cTeRvewHNxhIZqc8N3ToY-AWrLQT0YOTkOHw_dSiA8FHpKf6sASQ94D4yf-8hlocnOJ0l_x9JIaOj7YB4gA53_CZqol145cCL25kX3Rp12V6mT9sHIXjwiM6qPvHSuijQRVqbg/s1600/XMASPhotoEdited.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 242px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576551877432291842" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj4cTeRvewHNxhIZqc8N3ToY-AWrLQT0YOTkOHw_dSiA8FHpKf6sASQ94D4yf-8hlocnOJ0l_x9JIaOj7YB4gA53_CZqol145cCL25kX3Rp12V6mT9sHIXjwiM6qPvHSuijQRVqbg/s320/XMASPhotoEdited.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br /><br />So its been a long time<br />and I have missed this blog<br />we have quite a year<br />keeping me away from this place that I love and need<br /><br />a flood<br />a flood hurting our home and greatly damaging our business<br />and a rebuild<br />health and repair<br />stress and elation<br /><br />and now I am back<br />where I love to be<br /><br />and life is back to it's crazy roller coaster<br /><br />Torin our 7 year old jock<br />was invited to town wide soccer "Father daughter dance" <span id="SPELLING_ERROR_0" class="blsp-spelling-error">OY</span><br />of course when I wrote to them suggesting that this archaic ritual be updated<br />no response<br />shocker<br />Zion - now 10<br />will be dancing 7 weeks this summer. Ballet only<br />and we live in a world of first crushes and deodorant<br />Jessie is strong and MS is at bay - amazing as ever<br /><br />and I sit at this desk<br />where I consult half-time<br />and think<br />I am blessed<br />and still<br />I'd rather do stand up<br /><br />So glad to be back!<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIKsyzjTggbJWJU0jL9qDr7WDg0ZoDO1qyAX6JHB6QZxssciucZLVQPCXUBHpDdLaAKugFY4jcpXgMDr0Sj2M19vxOzsU02kumLaTtP0YDOSzaPkuv2xR5id1gZilQKmVMcHPlGg/s1600/Zion.Boston+Ballet.jpg"><img style="MARGIN: 0px 10px 10px 0px; WIDTH: 240px; FLOAT: left; HEIGHT: 320px; CURSOR: hand" id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5576551874279085026" border="0" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjIKsyzjTggbJWJU0jL9qDr7WDg0ZoDO1qyAX6JHB6QZxssciucZLVQPCXUBHpDdLaAKugFY4jcpXgMDr0Sj2M19vxOzsU02kumLaTtP0YDOSzaPkuv2xR5id1gZilQKmVMcHPlGg/s320/Zion.Boston+Ballet.jpg" /></a><br /><br /><div><br /><br /><div></div></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-15352389637974649552009-08-18T08:15:00.005-05:002009-08-18T08:44:39.187-05:00self control<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFBt5XhOS27OdgDo2POZNK_L_aQKGDoLY6JBvvmRV8t_O7m5L6_fhedR0eAvd8dLuoS42V40WI82ydGtDMi2ftNYqXNGuG_tWjhzwhSAbPIr7IVqIaSS-Hwmx9OQHJB32HHBLWA/s1600-h/badparenting.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5371292182454233154" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 181px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 400px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhqFBt5XhOS27OdgDo2POZNK_L_aQKGDoLY6JBvvmRV8t_O7m5L6_fhedR0eAvd8dLuoS42V40WI82ydGtDMi2ftNYqXNGuG_tWjhzwhSAbPIr7IVqIaSS-Hwmx9OQHJB32HHBLWA/s400/badparenting.jpg" border="0" /></a>Dear Evolved Moms, why are some people just crappy parents?? It seems no matter how involved we are, how many good lessons we teach, how much we listen and care and do what we need to do to help our daughter learn the right things, some other kids comes along and pushes her, or swears or talks about a show we don't allow. I just want scream at all of the other parents who don't get it. What is wrong with people?? Daddy Bill<br /><br />Hi Daddy Bill,<br /><br />I so hear you! And I<br />for the longest time<br />was the parent who would intervene<br />yell at the kid pushing my kid<br />talk to the other parents about their kid<br />scold<br />make evil eyes at the misbehaving kid<br />nothing subtle - not that I am capable of that anyway<br /><br />But over time<br />I have learned a very valuable lesson<br />and the sooner you learn it<br />and teach it to your kid<br />the better your like will be<br /><br />first - yes - many other parents suck at the parenting job<br />they don't make their kids brush their teeth<br />show them MTV at 7 years old<br />have few limits on bedtime<br />backtalk<br />violence<br />media and video games<br />leave them unsupervised<br />in fact during family week on the cape<br />two kids (9 ish) kept coming onto our store<br />without parents<br />they would sit and play for an hour<br />no intention of buying anything<br />just playing - loudly<br />finally I went in search of said parents<br />and found the sitting on a bench outside<br />many stores away<br />they told me, oh we trust them......<br />so i told the kid, most people come into shop<br />do you know this is not a playground?? Play for 5 more and then go<br />that did it..<br /><br />okay, number 2<br />your kid needs to learn to fight her own battles<br />I suck at this one but it's true<br />she needs to decide what you taught her is right<br />and use it<br />help her find a sentence to say over and over<br />like "that's not cool"..<br /><br />okay #3 this is the big one<br />no matter how much you want to<br />you cannot control<br />anyone but yourself<br />the harder you try the more you will fail<br />I always fail<br />you cannot worry about those kids (unless there is danger of course..)<br />just teach her the rules and over time<br />she will fully integrate them<br />and begin to self-parent in those situations<br /><br />I am a control freak<br />to the max really<br />I have an extremely shy kid<br />no matter what<br />she will not tell someone... a friend or teacher<br />when she is unhappy or someone has done her wrong<br />at home she is loud as all get out!<br /><br />yesterday she began to cry before gymnastics<br />a sport she loves more than life<br />she has been hesitant about going<br />we thought she was tired, or it was too extreme for her<br />just before going onto the floor, tears rolling down her 6 year old face<br />she whispered to me,<br /><br />the girls are always cutting me in line<br />pushing into their space<br />talking at me<br />bossing<br />I don't want to go<br />and she was willing to quit<br />rather than do something<br />to stop their behavior<br /><br />my shy girl would not say stop, or no or I don't like that<br />and I wanted to rip their little heads off<br />self control...<br />this is her life<br />her lesson to learn<br /><br />I said T<br />hold your ground<br />don't move from your spot<br />if you can't say no yet<br />tell the coach<br />and hold your ground show them it's your gym, your place too!<br /><br />together we spoke to the coach<br />who was super<br />T wiped her eyes and went to the floor to begin<br />the coach must have scolded the girls because T smiled for<br />3 hours of the workout<br /><br />and for the first time<br />in my parenting life<br />I did not get in trouble<br />for meddling with badly parented kids<br />and she became stronger!<br />win for T<br />win for me<br /><br />we can only control ourselves<br />Good luck Bill!Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-73821345863837736192009-06-12T13:43:00.000-05:002009-06-12T13:46:09.732-05:00ahh the rollercoaster! Advice to a sad dad.<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaJ2ODPv1xafiaEdKwg3k04_DDmhLzZ0NLYBSRo4w4Ov1mHbo4ttSEsZomd7axzhHF3W1eNsliGtY-VptX_HyYAg1554FkGLfo0LSo_caH0KniKosfIpacqYQw3Sk8oMajhCCJg/s1600-h/DAD.bmp"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5346513878481812722" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 278px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 358px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhnaJ2ODPv1xafiaEdKwg3k04_DDmhLzZ0NLYBSRo4w4Ov1mHbo4ttSEsZomd7axzhHF3W1eNsliGtY-VptX_HyYAg1554FkGLfo0LSo_caH0KniKosfIpacqYQw3Sk8oMajhCCJg/s400/DAD.bmp" border="0" /></a> Dear Evolved Moms:<br />We adopted our son five months ago, he is now one. I have been home the whole time but now I must return to work. I am feeling torn between being with him and losing my mind being home. Can anyone but us care for him like we do? The job is okay – pays the bills but my husband and I have to work to keep on moving up. Will he be okay? Will I?<br /><br />Sad Pop<br /><br /><br />Dear Sad Pop:<br /><br />Welcome to the rollercoaster of parenting man. And this is just the first stop!<br />I learned very early on<br />That I knew nothing about parenting<br />And our son taught me everything<br />When he smiled – I knew I did it right<br />When he cried I knew it was wrong<br />As soon as I had something down pat, suddenly, he grew<br />And that skill no longer worked<br />Parenting is about playing catch up<br />Every six months<br />They seem to fully evolve<br />Listening to your kids and learning with them each day<br />Letting them lead the way<br /><br />But the bigger lessons are about life<br />Balance<br />Time<br />What do you spend time on, what gives a bit, what matters most?<br /><br />We have always felt that family comes first<br />But still work, meetings, people, cleaning – life seems to get in the way of life<br />A year ago last October<br />My wife was diagnosed with MS<br />And clearly it was time for a life pause<br />Not everyone needs such a universal wakeup call<br />But for us it was an important moment<br /> don’t get me wrong – MS way sucks<br />but it also gave us a bit of a blessing<br /><br />Suddenly<br />The little shit in life just doesn’t matter<br />People bickering at work<br />Bad drivers<br />Family politics<br />People who waste my time<br />Sweeping the floor<br />Hours of being home or away<br />stress<br />It all suddenly mattered less<br /><br />I am not saying quit your job and move your gay family to the woods either<br />But all of the details<br />The stresses<br />The bull<br />Make it matter less<br />Your boy is going to get older no matter what<br />He will love you in a big house or a small one<br />With a huge job or part-time one<br />In childcare or homeschooled<br />He will love you<br />No matter what you do<br />He will love you<br />But he needs you happy<br />Unstressed<br />Satisfied by life<br /><br />We have a short time<br />To enjoy and celebrate our families<br />This time around<br />In this life<br />I am going to savor every moment<br /><br />When my wife and I need to go out<br />So be it – we get a sitter<br />If we want to stay in – super we are with the kids<br />Childcare<br />No childcare<br />Work or don’t work<br />Some are made to home school<br />Some are not<br />Some are made to work 80 hours a week<br />Some are not<br />What matters is the happiness<br />Find work your love<br />Find hobbies you enjoy<br />Love your family<br />And enjoy<br /><br />It’s less about the time<br />Of course others can care for him<br /><br />It’s the stress and worry that take time<br />and quality away<br /><br />no worries, be happy now<br />do do do do do do do do do do do do don’t worry…<br /><br />Evolved Mom - Stacey<br /><div></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-89247274837014597952009-06-03T14:48:00.011-05:002009-06-03T16:44:10.383-05:00Fresh vs frozen?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2kPbm-4I025jPxqYrynj0KqkugBlvYmH5mCtlIcKq6FggoeuPtcgA3ZgcYRmy6SDaTybKTMqqrpnHGVc5KE9e1lrOgJBHWDa5dP_23ptv3JuMoCQQBAuNqbjUJkWnIOpkKnS8w/s1600-h/SpermDonor.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5343194646664969986" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhZ2kPbm-4I025jPxqYrynj0KqkugBlvYmH5mCtlIcKq6FggoeuPtcgA3ZgcYRmy6SDaTybKTMqqrpnHGVc5KE9e1lrOgJBHWDa5dP_23ptv3JuMoCQQBAuNqbjUJkWnIOpkKnS8w/s400/SpermDonor.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Dear Evolved Moms:</div><br /><div>Okay we are ready to get prego! But, there are so many options of places and ways to get sperm, how do we know which road is best? We could use her brother (they look alike), frozen anon sperm, a friend.... Please help us!</div><div>mary and meg </div><div></div><br /><div>Hey Mary and Meg,</div><br /><div></div><div>I get asked this question often</div><div>and I could give you all of the pros and cons </div><div>of fresh vs frozen</div><div>talk about the best sperm banks</div><div>and the good bad and ugly of using a friend</div><div>but I figure</div><div>you are asking me because you know I am opinionated</div><div>so I am just going tell you what I think.</div><br /><div></div><div>Using a sib, or any donor</div><div>to create someone that "looks" like both of you</div><div>is kind of false</div><div>the baby WILL be both of yours</div><div>just not biologically</div><div>so throw the "look" piece out</div><br /><div></div><div>a small healthy bundle</div><div>with as few complications and red tape as possible is the goal</div><div>right?</div><br /><div></div><div>Throw the friend idea out too</div><div>you are good people</div><div>that says to me</div><div>that your friends are good people</div><div>good people</div><div>see babies that are biologically theirs</div><div>and naturally want to connect</div><div>complicated and messy</div><div>regardless of intent and love</div><div></div><br /><div>a guy you meet at a bar</div><div>no attachments</div><div>also no trust</div><div>lots of potential yucky ailments and issues</div><div>complicated, okay gross too! (I guess free though)</div><div></div><br /><div>Frozen anonymous pop</div><div>"A" answer in my book</div><div>pre-screened and tested for all medical issues</div><div>can be delivered to your door</div><div>no red tape</div><div>no legal documents</div><div>no third party emotions</div><div>voila!</div><br /><div></div><div>and as long as I am being opinionated</div><div>Small plug - California Cryobank - a personal favorite</div><div>great history</div><div>good practices</div><div>and even a generic attractiveness scale of the donor!</div><br /><div></div><div>no matter which road you choose</div><div>you will still need to figure out how to handle the yucky stuff</div><div>will you do it at home or have your OB do it?</div><div>ovulation kits, vitamins, yoga...</div><div>so much to do</div><div>so much to decide</div><div></div><br /><div>I say for the sperm</div><div>take the easy road.</div><div></div><br /><div>good luck! Can't wait to hear how it goes!</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-3835514744247404272009-06-01T09:18:00.001-05:002009-06-01T09:20:01.290-05:00seperate and not equal<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfeK6i1U38UcFCykUeKh4uNA3G2taKKihdTDPj-FhLxwhk5VYAS6eK4jwBHdPQuzdFyJTUHgUv1IP2JZR2PnTK6202ryhT177VJO5ikglDCk5-vSgpaPfSsBKbVJQak_QHs8WwIQ/s1600-h/ice+ski.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5342363440691944914" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 300px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjfeK6i1U38UcFCykUeKh4uNA3G2taKKihdTDPj-FhLxwhk5VYAS6eK4jwBHdPQuzdFyJTUHgUv1IP2JZR2PnTK6202ryhT177VJO5ikglDCk5-vSgpaPfSsBKbVJQak_QHs8WwIQ/s400/ice+ski.jpg" border="0" /></a>Dear Evolved Moms:<br />This winter I went skiing with my whole family, my wife and kids and my sister and her partner and kids, a few cousins and our parents. Our whole family is super accepting of my sister being gay and her family is treated exactly the same as mine. I am writing because the whole week my sister kept making me feel like her family was in some way… better, I don’t know, more important, more unique than mine. I thought we were al l the same now, equal – especially in this family. What do you think I should do?<br />Straight Brother Markus<br /><br />Hey Brother Markus! <br />First off – LOVE YOU! For your support<br />Your love of family and your sister<br />For being there and caring enough to ask<br /><br />You are totally right and also a bit not all at the same time<br />We do all WANT equality and we all feel the same inside<br />We have the same talks in our homes<br />Same dreams<br />We all hate to clean (unless we are PMSing)<br />We all dream for our children<br />Clean the kitty litter boxes with disgust<br />Worry<br />Stress and laugh<br />We all give love and want love<br />We all want approval<br />But Brother Markus<br />Things are not the same<br /><br />Let me break it down<br /><br />When you go skiing in Utah<br />Life is always easy<br />Amazing snow<br />Great temperatures<br />Chairlifts go right to the base of the mountain<br />Life is good<br />Most of the time you can ski and get a tan all in one day<br />And that is what it is like in the US for a man and women to get married<br />And have a family<br />There is no hitch, no limit, no barrier<br /><br />Now not so long ago in the US<br />Gay marriage and the creation of gay families<br />Were like skiing on the desert of Nevada in august<br />Just could not happen<br /><br />Now I would say<br />It’s a bit more like skiing in New England<br />You never know the weather<br />You will need a lot of help from snow machines and luck to make it happen<br />Sometimes it will work<br />But most of the time there will be ice and rocks and<br />Long lines and frost bite<br />And impassible roads<br />and it’s really damn expensive!<br />And on some days,<br />If yu are extremely luck<br />And patient<br />And live IN new England (or Iowa) you just might have a good day of skiing<br /><br />You see your sister<br />Like all gay people who want a family<br />Still has to fight for her rights<br />For equal treatment<br />today<br />Even in Iowa<br />Or Vermont<br />Or even Massachusetts<br /><br />We are burdened with explaining a lot<br />We teach all the time<br />Just by existing<br />We have to protect ourselves<br />Filter input<br />Choose battles<br />And protect our kids<br />In very different way that you have to<br />Every day<br />Day after day<br />We have extra burdens still<br />Historic, legal and real<br /><br />Even in an amazing families like yours<br />That love and accept – there was still a journey<br />Years of fear, DOMA, prop 8, don’t ask don’t tell<br />We are seperate and not equal<br />Not yet…<br /><br />On your road to marriage and family I am sure there were twists and turns<br />But for your sister<br />There were roadblocks<br />Emotional, legal, physical<br />And to get to the end<br />To marriage and family<br />Took muscle<br />Took skill<br />Took bravery<br />Took planning<br />Took money<br />Took time<br /><br />You two are the same<br />Family is the same<br />Love is the same<br />But our roads<br />Our not yet equal<br />And are a long way from being flat<br />Thank you for loving her<br />And caring<br />That is what will lessen the load<br /><br />Evolved mom Stacey<br /><div></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-13957614120262857192009-05-08T08:30:00.006-05:002009-05-08T20:29:57.791-05:00You People<a href="http://2007.seattlegaysoftball.com/"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5333446144795381186" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; WIDTH: 400px; CURSOR: hand; HEIGHT: 276px; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh9jGaYA5tVC-Ok8dJawMUtTZSrIBQ9bGTcHCGSvuX_RN0TXdqr-FRXZjnThKEwidscJSg5dqUg91Tghw6XSRQEA35R86jQYF2zll_AJKZS5uSlcHrpsuYpQH3x9c4uyGOQczhdTw/s400/lesbians+look+alike.bmp" border="0" /></a><br /><br /><br />Yesterday<br />I was effectively<br />"you peopled"<br />by a child at our kids school<br />not just any kid either<br />one who really really knows us<br />has been to our home<br />in our car<br />to our kids parties<br /><br />I was waiting to pick up our daughter from kindergarten<br />I heard a child voice saying<br />"Hi Mrs. Harris"<br />which always makes me laugh<br />so formal<br />so my mother<br />so not me<br />I smiled at her<br />"you know honey you can just call me Stacey" I said<br />she just smiled up at me<br />and happily stated<br />"I can't tell you apart, so I just call you both Mrs. Harris"<br />and truly I was stunned.<br />silent actually - which is really weird for me<br />For one<br />Jessie and I really are not lookalikes<br />although occasionally matching we never twin EVER<br />(my mom does by us everything in twos..<br />but we do not wear them at the same time<br />okay maybe the sandals...)<br />My hair is shaved off, I wear ripped jeans<br />my eyebrow is pierced<br />I am short with glasses<br />I am boish<br />Jessie is tall and has hair (not long but long for a dyke)<br />and she is always dressed up, coming from work she is girly<br />so I sat silent<br />almost feeling slapped<br /><br />so odd<br />to just be written off<br />you are just one of them<br />why should I bother to tell you apart<br />you are lesbians<br />same<br />even at 9 or 10 or 11 whatever she is<br />she saw us as a group<br />not me as a person<br />and felt no issue with that at all.Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com6tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-6491270939620386942008-11-06T19:52:00.006-05:002008-11-06T20:17:14.804-05:00New President - New hope - A beginning<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLhFit-Hj_vX3CTxtjjPVTUI0O2vR7Q5h-2GXMiGbzSWCpERc-uofQEKKkRFa9SOsGRoKndneaH9LAAKmkKdtgsgtqKUqI6T-oMot_6m-jJBDjmkSQJIU5AfB9hRY6OrtaKwEHg/s1600-h/t.4"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEinLhFit-Hj_vX3CTxtjjPVTUI0O2vR7Q5h-2GXMiGbzSWCpERc-uofQEKKkRFa9SOsGRoKndneaH9LAAKmkKdtgsgtqKUqI6T-oMot_6m-jJBDjmkSQJIU5AfB9hRY6OrtaKwEHg/s400/t.4" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265712500079056674" /></a><br /><br />America<br />was born <br />this week<br />given a new chance<br />to grow and thrive<br /><br />We are fragile though<br />not tough<br />in our infancy<br /><br />I worry about cockiness<br />lack of respect of the past<br /><br />I worry about those who forget<br />we are still volatile<br />and new<br />with skin untouched<br />we have yet<br />to try on our new ways<br />our new feet<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbau2zNUd1uZrrd4E7lCqvnt9_0CY-kXty-69q2EkwPS21yZ4mpis3vhAjRBsDzMCrAW6xDvH_xvZdPa0a2fo7uCNlijbPdof0YJeli6th0KBrqUqw0csbPlXf2og52w5qbs6ysA/s1600-h/babyt"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 266px; height: 400px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhbau2zNUd1uZrrd4E7lCqvnt9_0CY-kXty-69q2EkwPS21yZ4mpis3vhAjRBsDzMCrAW6xDvH_xvZdPa0a2fo7uCNlijbPdof0YJeli6th0KBrqUqw0csbPlXf2og52w5qbs6ysA/s400/babyt" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265712405312045234" /></a><br /><br />I am so tired to hearing people<br />who seem to feel that no longer does racism exist<br />that all is equal now<br />that all is forgotten<br /><br />the white wealthy<br />unoppressed<br />I find<br />are overly ecstatic<br />somehow relieved<br /><br />I am ecstatic too<br />but in a different way<br />I feel honored to be present<br />when our country finally did the right thing<br />not for the color<br />but the choice<br /><br />I am humbled that President Obama<br />and this time in history<br />that he worked for<br />will give us all <br />the opportunity<br />to begin to do the work<br />that needs to be done<br /><br />This time<br />in history<br />is a chance to start<br />we must respect our infancy<br />our newness<br />we must respect the past<br />what has come<br />what must never come again<br />what lies ahead<br />is hope<br /><br />Obama I am sure<br />will add fertilizer<br />and sun<br />but if we do not supply the love<br />change cannot be<br /><br />On the same day<br />that America<br />began to evolve<br /><br />Parts of America became more ugly<br />Proposition 8<br />bans on gay adoption<br />ballot questions cramming<br />law and god into one basket<br />limiting affirmative action<br />limiting freedom<br />choice<br />life<br />love<br /><br />some of the same voices<br />and citizens who <br />voted for Obama<br />also voted for hate<br />and limits and controll<br /><br />we must respect our place in this miracle<br />we are new<br />we are infants<br />we are fragile<br />and volatile<br />now the work must begin<br /><br />now our voices must be heard<br />in unison<br />at every racist comment<br />every gay joke<br />at every fallen policy<br />at every town hall<br />at every PTA meeting<br />on every subway<br />we must now work<br />and be seen <br />and be present<br /><br />we are infants<br />but together <br />we can now grow<br />and become whole<br />and strong<br />change has come<br />and now<br />we must begin<br /><br />we cannot grow weary<br />hope won<br />and it is our job<br />to keep hope fertile<br />and loved<br />the future depends on it<br />on us<br />Obama cannot do it alone<br /><br />Hope<br /><br />The future<br /><br />Hope<br /><br /><a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjot_XGmMvORiDZglAbWFFCAZu-_SuU2IGAidC3ULaN7DYzjhowFrI-_3A94-34ubMiSdCspijS-m5rheu0Qbf7lOOTpF4tcvJ_XM4DbC7m269EpxtGPTkWcAkzH4sllmMC5g4pWA/s1600-h/z.hope"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 267px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjot_XGmMvORiDZglAbWFFCAZu-_SuU2IGAidC3ULaN7DYzjhowFrI-_3A94-34ubMiSdCspijS-m5rheu0Qbf7lOOTpF4tcvJ_XM4DbC7m269EpxtGPTkWcAkzH4sllmMC5g4pWA/s400/z.hope" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5265712599160134258" /></a>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-27428046081473312482008-11-03T21:16:00.003-05:002008-11-03T21:47:56.604-05:00Lil' Obama on Halloween!<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsqi0Qx71rEUtKhKJteesjfhzir_OCr6JOmk_QlXkICJSPd0nuT2Uborrz1TrMqgQvp6d0de4sU2ARKYTf1P3VjV9Q8acAhdsDeRHlEsDv85BHRebi9IT7YGRjz0U_e8FF2EjnQg/s1600-h/lil.obama.JPG"><img style="display:block; margin:0px auto 10px; text-align:center;cursor:pointer; cursor:hand;width: 400px; height: 300px;" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjsqi0Qx71rEUtKhKJteesjfhzir_OCr6JOmk_QlXkICJSPd0nuT2Uborrz1TrMqgQvp6d0de4sU2ARKYTf1P3VjV9Q8acAhdsDeRHlEsDv85BHRebi9IT7YGRjz0U_e8FF2EjnQg/s400/lil.obama.JPG" border="0" alt=""id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5264621063431532546" /></a><br /><br />Halloween<br />Zion wanted to be Obama<br />Torin a cat<br />instead of saying trick-or-treat<br />I will say 'our time is now'!<br />One suit<br />One sign<br /><br />For the school festivities<br />Zion shared the runway<br />with a pre-k teacher going as palin<br />another student who was Obama and a student going as mccain<br />all laughing together<br />the director of admissions went as Obama too!<br />we spent class time<br />making edible dirt and trick or treat bags<br />eating junk and feeling excited<br />the school day a success <br />of glee and sugar<br />truly an amazing day that the teachers<br />could keep the kids sane<br />knowing what lay ahead<br /><br />Later, in our small <br />predominantly <br />white town <br />I wondered how<br />Lil'Obama would do<br />We rushed home from school<br />shoved dinner in<br />donned a suit for Zion<br />painted Torins face<br />and set out<br />In our small town<br />all of the kids walk to the center store<br />Fiske's - for a treat and to have their photo taken<br />to be placed in the window<br /><br />Our entourage<br />a small black cat<br />two bundled lesbian moms<br />one stroller<br />and a small black boy<br />in a full suit leading us<br />carrying a large sign<br />"out time is now" on one side<br />"yes we can" on the other<br />as soon as we left the house<br />life changed<br />horns began honking as they passed<br />smiles<br />thumbs raised<br />more smiles<br />shock to giggles and happiness<br />Torin began to count<br />twelves honks for Obama mama<br />no fourteen now!<br />his excitement grows as each house<br />with an Obama sign<br />comes into view<br />and why shouldn't he?<br />house after house<br />Zion scored twice the candy as anyone else<br />several told him they would vote for him<br />and our little 8 year old reminded them <br />"not to forget to vote tuesday!"<br /><br />it was an amazing opening<br />to meeting new neighboors<br />we had wonderful rich and full conversation's<br />and the kids scored big<br />Only at one house,<br />to be honest it did have a mccain sign,<br />were the treat giveres a bit tight with him<br />but the mountains of candy and well wishers <br />more than made that <br />a non existent memory<br /><br />Zion handed out Obama stickers<br />smiled<br />and schmoozed as usual<br /><br />I do believe<br />that little man<br />helped the vote<br />he made people think<br />about what matters<br />family<br />in all it's forms<br />freedom<br />role models<br />and change<br />laughter<br />and unity<br />it was amazing<br />Zion's future is bright<br /><br />please vote<br />to make it<br />even brighter!Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-40262462196469282842008-10-19T20:21:00.002-05:002008-10-19T20:25:13.609-05:00Sarah's Hard Rock Candy - A Must SeeThe video says it all... Peggy Seeger (Pete Seeger's sister) wrote the song. My wife made the video - please share<br /><br /><object width="425" height="344"><param name="movie" value="http://www.youtube.com/v/e5OWPQlyeuA&hl=en&fs=1"></param><param name="allowFullScreen" value="true"></param><embed src="http://www.youtube.com/v/e5OWPQlyeuA&hl=en&fs=1" type="application/x-shockwave-flash" allowfullscreen="true" width="425" height="344"></embed></object>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-17749319366223700592008-10-07T11:06:00.004-05:002008-10-07T11:40:10.471-05:00Stupid Pokemon - advice<img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5254446058274164338" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjmMvsi0geE4lP8isM88CFA9BItzATf4l1-1PFrMkltcJZgIgT39LEtyhf6mHlNcSgHEePtS5dme_2aoLAW6u44mZsBtM5Xj1h7dUAVOTGsRJ-Cy_qoYNsFdBzrcRDgpavd3I9Mxg/s400/stupic+pokemon.jpg" border="0" /><span style="font-family:trebuchet ms;">Dear Evolved Moms: After much deliberation we chose to send our kids to public school. We live in a great town with a great school system and pretty liberal and committed and involved parents. Now, after just a month, our 6 year old twins are sassy, argumentative and suddenly interested in children we would not chose for them not to mention activities we detest, like paintball and shows like "that's so raven" (which they have never seen). This is exactly what we were afraid of. But what can we do now. Moms from everytownamerica.</span> <div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;"></span></div><div><br /></div><div><span style="font-family:Trebuchet MS;">Dear Moms:</span></div><div>There is no way</div><div>as I have written many times before</div><div>to insulate, bubble wrap and filter your child</div><div>from the world</div><div>At a certain point</div><div>they will need to fall</div><div>make choices of their own</div><div>trust their intuition (and know where to find it and how to use it)</div><div>That being said</div><div>we all do our best</div><div>to help guide them</div><div> </div><div>There is a kids who is around my son a lot</div><div>who NEVER shuts up</div><div>she pokes and man handles</div><div>is sassy and very rude</div><div>to kids and adults alike</div><div>she obeys no boundaries</div><div>she talks loudly in his face</div><div> </div><div>I try hard not to tell him how much I dislike her</div><div>as a person</div><div>how much I detest her behavior</div><div>I try to say, how do you feel about what she is doing</div><div>or point out - wow she was speaking really loudly and close to you</div><div>How do you feel about that</div><div>or step in when it overwhelms him.</div><div>Pretty much unless we are talking politics or the Redsocks (where I tell my children all)</div><div>I try to be fairly neutral</div><div>which is hard for me</div><div>really hard</div><div>as I am extremely opinionated</div><div>but usually right (as I am sure you are too)</div><div>I d0 draw the line on violence and we have strict rules in our home</div><div>about such things.</div><div>no video games</div><div>no TV during the week</div><div>weekend TV no commericals . . </div><div>We went out of our way to help our son collect Bella Sara cards</div><div>Magical horse cards with magical powers</div><div>so he could still collect cars and feel part of gang, but not Pokemon </div><div>or other such stupid violent games.</div><div>And why do parents by these?</div><div>Just to drive me crazy I am sure!</div><div>I will never really know </div><div>weakness is my guess</div><div>to allow their children to fit in</div><div>maybe they justify the violence by believing that some learning is involved?</div><div>I don't know</div><div>Lazy maybe</div><div>aren't there better things our kids could be doing?</div><div>I remember collecting stamps, rocks, Lego's, books, teen beat magazines, </div><div>red sox cards, </div><div>pictures of joan jet and annie lenox tapes.....</div><div>anyhoo</div><div>no matter what we teach</div><div>our kids will always experiment</div><div>test the waters</div><div>and break all of our rules.</div><div>that's their job</div><div>that's how they learn and grow</div><div>Our job </div><div>is not to kill them when they make mistakes</div><div> </div><div>we often say</div><div>you might not fully agree with our rules</div><div>and when you don't live here you can have whatever you want in your house</div><div>but these are the rules</div><div>and they are here to keep you safe and help you grow</div><div>because we love you</div><div>we keep door open to talk</div><div>and we talk a lot</div><div>no question is too hard</div><div>or adult</div><div>or scary</div><div>but sometimes</div><div>systems fail</div><div> </div><div>That is why at 7:30 am today</div><div>when my wife found 2 Pokemon cards</div><div>and some other violent looking transformerish card</div><div>in Zions bag</div><div>we did not kill him</div><div>I actually left them out on his desk so he would know</div><div>we saw them</div><div>"sorry mama" he said as he carried them out</div><div>"I got them at school"</div><div>not a public school either - so don't think that is your issue</div><div>a 20,0000 dollar a year private school, with a </div><div>10-1 ratio</div><div>and parents who care and are involved</div><div>and like all parents</div><div>some make choices we might not agree with</div><div>just like some kids do</div><div>that is the world for kids</div><div>that is the world for adults</div><div> </div><div>and your twins</div><div>just like my son</div><div>will need to learn to navigate those waters</div><div> </div><div>"Please don't do it again"</div><div>"If they are truly your friends they will understand</div><div>that that is something you are not allowed to do"</div><div> </div><div>and we move on</div><div>to another day</div><div>another lesson</div><div>another moment of teaching</div><div>and trying to walk the line</div><div>between smothering and teaching</div><div>protecting and allowing them to grow</div><div>preaching and repairing damage done</div><div>fearing and trusting</div><div>in them</div><div> </div><div>Evolved Mom: Stacey</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com3tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-42119638398437068802008-09-26T09:17:00.003-05:002008-09-26T09:32:21.566-05:00complaints - advice to grumpy daddy<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSVHkT_sWpg4Cbj3a4RjI19L6L-Igs4_UawCaHn4hmHhNy1rejWbNTtDNTNP0G7iGTqifviefvgo3dxJ2lqGmZYnrg3wZuG0E-UhXnKuC73RGm9HXniXM2R9dyFtO9pys3adqUfQ/s1600-h/nutcracker_07_010.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5250334106492772242" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhSVHkT_sWpg4Cbj3a4RjI19L6L-Igs4_UawCaHn4hmHhNy1rejWbNTtDNTNP0G7iGTqifviefvgo3dxJ2lqGmZYnrg3wZuG0E-UhXnKuC73RGm9HXniXM2R9dyFtO9pys3adqUfQ/s320/nutcracker_07_010.jpg" border="0" /></a> This <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">sunday</span> is nutcracker auditions<br />Zion can speak of nothing else<br />he wants to be Fritz - but is probably too young<br />emotional fall out to come...<br />we will see<br />at first I was dreading it all a bit<br />hours upon hours of driving, waiting, dinner in the car<br />rehearsals going late<br />schlepping our younger one along<br />but then today I received an advice question<br />from a very grumpy daddy in Log Angeles<br /><br />He writes: Dear Evolved Moms, it seems that school has only just begun and my husband I are have become chauffeurs again. Drive to soccer, pick up from school, <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">playdates</span> - it never ends. I want my life back! How can we streamline this parenting thing? Grumpy Dad<br /><br />Suddenly life became clear again for me.<br />our job<br />as parents<br />is to balance<br />is to support<br />is to be a catalyst<br />for their lives and hopes and dreams<br />Now, if your kid is just in too many activities<br />or their schedule is making homework and sleep complicated<br />that's another story...<br />But each kid had different needs<br />For Zion - 4 hours a week of ballet (soon to be 5)<br />is is zen space<br />his peaceful place<br />this balances him<br />and I should be - and am thankful that he found something he loves this much.<br />letting him push himself<br />and supporting where he wants to go<br />isn't that our job?<br />who am I to stand i the way of his progress<br />I am not pushing him to go<br />and I also should never<br />make his dreams hard to reach<br />beacuse I "don't feel like it"<br />this is his dream<br /><br />we all have them too<br /><br />signing up to parent<br />is a bit like signing up to be a chauffeur<br />party planner<br />organizational therapist<br />but that is also the best art<br /><br />grumpy dad - you must chill<br />you must learn to help them grow and still have a life<br />if driving them to school is one of your <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">stressors</span> you have a lot to rethink about your scheduling..<br /><br />Cheers to the future soccer players<br />ballet dancers<br />contractors<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">presidents</span> (we <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_4">could</span> sue a new one eh?)<br /><br />Here to the future<br />I hope we all do our best helping them get there.<br /><br />peace<br /><br />Evolved Mom StaceyStaceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-14750157015610529942008-09-17T19:22:00.004-05:002008-09-17T19:33:35.281-05:00Houdini Dog<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifK20QajcOh3LNf21Po4s2XShE07JVL_G1i9UgruHIE3sm4oxHs7kriT1q4Cg6_fBECvb7aVdSElyFfLJHqxUW-CWge28g8q1N_xggJMh81uy2peyfhGu43M-ESsI4v5wCy4N9qQ/s1600-h/Houdini+Dog.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5247150355299198818" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEifK20QajcOh3LNf21Po4s2XShE07JVL_G1i9UgruHIE3sm4oxHs7kriT1q4Cg6_fBECvb7aVdSElyFfLJHqxUW-CWge28g8q1N_xggJMh81uy2peyfhGu43M-ESsI4v5wCy4N9qQ/s320/Houdini+Dog.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>Okay, so now I need advice.</div><div>Each weekend we pack up the kids</div><div>and mike the dog</div><div>and drive to p-town to our little shop</div><div>I thought it might be good to get a portable crate (lightweight...)</div><div>so I did not have to bring the metal one each time</div><div>15 minute into the adventure</div><div>I hear him wrestling in the crate</div><div>but I know he is in there</div><div>I zipped it myself</div><div>and then I see something in the rear view</div><div>Mike</div><div>on top of the luggage!</div><div>He had <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">smushed</span> his nose a certain way and unzipped it.</div><div> </div><div>We pull over</div><div>tie the ends of the zipper together</div><div>10 minute later</div><div>Houdini dog says hello</div><div>and scare the shit out of me</div><div> </div><div>We resolve to keep him in the front as we finish our trip</div><div>Mike is thrilled</div><div>and the kids think it's hysterical</div><div> </div><div>On Sunday</div><div>after have a "gay old time" on the cape</div><div>We stop at the x-ass tree shop and </div><div>purchase yet another more solid - yet portable crate</div><div>with 5 minutes has his nose out and is happily</div><div><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">climbing</span> up to the front seat</div><div>kids <span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">cackling</span> all the way</div><div>moms getting pissed</div><div>We but a pigs ear and tie the crate again</div><div>mike chews his way out in 5 minutes</div><div> </div><div>35 dollars later</div><div>mike is happily being king</div><div>up in the front</div><div>with his gay mommies</div><div>and the kids are in tears of laughter and glee</div><div> </div><div>Lesson: Dogs love the front seat</div><div>kids love to laugh at moms</div><div>P-town is for the whole family</div><div>give into the roller coaster of life</div><div> </div><div>But, as we are going again on Friday</div><div>any advice of puppy restraint</div><div>or ways to deflect butch embarrassment</div><div>at not being able to restrain a tiny <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_3">cockapoo</span></div><div>are welcome</div><div> </div><div>Evolved Mom Stacey</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-7251230635113269922008-09-13T17:22:00.003-05:002008-09-13T17:38:12.834-05:00facing fears - advice<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwSZNQQLMRBd9Ef25sAIvYZewWAzKAgZrohsJ7K2ajQt4RkMz9xj_jorVGJBGo9yftYOh8_9tYybceUC2Fi6oIS7u3pGRrY1kPSxqBh130nJxBHXajPX8ROvnrqIjTUe0RRrS7Yg/s1600-h/mban1208l.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5245635012060271698" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgwSZNQQLMRBd9Ef25sAIvYZewWAzKAgZrohsJ7K2ajQt4RkMz9xj_jorVGJBGo9yftYOh8_9tYybceUC2Fi6oIS7u3pGRrY1kPSxqBh130nJxBHXajPX8ROvnrqIjTUe0RRrS7Yg/s320/mban1208l.jpg" border="0" /></a> Dear Evolved Moms:<br />I am just terrified, my son started Kindergarten this week. I can't sleep. I feel like we have created this safe, bias-free, empowering little world for him and now he is out there, alone and we are not there to help him. To guide him. To keep the assholes away from him. I find that I am picking him up early, finding excuses to keep him home. What do you think? I know I need to chill out, but it's hard. Thanks. J & J<br /><br />Dear J & J:<br /><br />Letting go is the hardest part of parenting. And the most important.<br />Assholes will exist.<br />At school<br />at work<br />on the playground<br />but if they never learn to stretch their self help muscles<br />how will they ever survive?<br />Fear is a really hard place to live - for any of us<br />Our daughter started K last week<br />I am afraid she is too tired - the day is long<br />she is shy<br />it is hard for her to say "no" to kids who might be unkind<br />some of the kids are amazing..<br />some of the families are amazing...<br />some might not be our cup of tea - but time will tell<br />we will guide her, but ultimately, she needs to make the right choices<br />and we have helped her and will continue to, as you have<br /><br />it has been an interesting summer for all of us here<br />and fear at times has been a factor<br />but I have decided<br />at least for me<br />that living with fear<br />only inhibits my living<br />and all of those around me<br /><br />I needed to say<br />I am longer going to live in fear of:<br />bills<br />MS<br />kid choices<br />taking huge risks<br />what anyone else thinks<br />things that really I have no control of anyway<br />or things I cannot grow without<br /><br />Maybe you need a list too..<br />he will go<br />he will fall<br />he will get up<br />he will be powerfull<br />with his own wings<br />and you have helped him become powerful<br />let him fly<br />fear is no place to live...<br /><br />Evolved Mom StaceyStaceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-77643877052376500072008-08-22T09:46:00.004-05:002008-08-22T10:00:24.122-05:00Where the hell have you been?<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOt-v8QT4cTUVlOwvRoo7gI5XtPxRIz9oVjvKq3wbC-QBK3uBXyeuCfKUOTY6Dp83egXwORtCbbwiTq8PMYLtwN4fVP3GPc5FCKEoyeTQ7wFMO4RnTR0BRhsACLVNX-Rs9UfvGw/s1600-h/marathon.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5237356598895014146" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEiiOt-v8QT4cTUVlOwvRoo7gI5XtPxRIz9oVjvKq3wbC-QBK3uBXyeuCfKUOTY6Dp83egXwORtCbbwiTq8PMYLtwN4fVP3GPc5FCKEoyeTQ7wFMO4RnTR0BRhsACLVNX-Rs9UfvGw/s320/marathon.jpg" border="0" /></a><br /><div>where have we been?</div>well here is our marathon summer:<br /><div>end of school</div>northampton pride<br /><div>recitals</div><div>boston pride</div><div>atlanta pride - decided we might just be too old to go to so many prides!</div><div>R Family Cruise to Canada - wow</div><div>High School Musical Camp - zion was troy!</div><div>Basketball camp</div><div>mini sports camp</div><div>2 weeks of ballet camp</div><div>built a store for one week in P-town for family week (okay that was a lot!)</div><div>landlord offered us the space to try for a few other weekends</div><div>excited</div><div>scared</div><div>excited beat scared</div><div>drove back and forth from home to p-town 10,000 times (but loved every minute of it)</div><div>even the lack of sleep</div><div>got dog fixed</div><div>2 kids in hip hop camp</div><div>decided to commit to store in p-town for All of next summer (wow) come visit!</div><div>(205 commercial street in the aquarium mall!)</div><div>made pregnancy belly cake for best friends baby blessing party</div><div>kissed wife</div><div>got rid of wife's crappy car and upgraded</div><div>drove to p-town one more time</div><div>saw friends</div><div>back to school shopping for the boy who grew out of everything</div><div>bought a first day of kindergarten dress - not for me</div><div>heard my daughter say fuck 3 times in a row - apparently kids do copy what they hear - oops!</div><div>forgot school forms</div><div>made MD appointments to do the forms</div><div>bought ballet shoes for two kids - men's sizes now!</div><div>planned next tattoo</div><div>watched Torin begin to learn to read!</div><div>didn't sleep enough</div><div>enjoyed some sun</div><div>have relief that wife is feeling great</div><div>bought some kinda girly shoes for a wedding</div><div>and laughed a lot</div><div>and now we are back.</div><div>whew.</div><div></div><div>happy almost fall</div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-60883142945765570732008-07-01T06:18:00.003-05:002008-07-01T06:31:28.188-05:00Road Trip<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3sUAzs3L5B_FLSkuQHQU2TUyIf8P8zo11Qoe3HSY2dW05Uph92BxumrMPUFb0y7J6Pd0jHBBh2tKf1A45dG1DMnorGvibAyN0qHnBOE-2MBGLmNWxg0WeE6LLKtxG0m2wCB9VQ/s1600-h/RoadTrip_v2.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5218003496950264658" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjz3sUAzs3L5B_FLSkuQHQU2TUyIf8P8zo11Qoe3HSY2dW05Uph92BxumrMPUFb0y7J6Pd0jHBBh2tKf1A45dG1DMnorGvibAyN0qHnBOE-2MBGLmNWxg0WeE6LLKtxG0m2wCB9VQ/s320/RoadTrip_v2.jpg" border="0" /></a> We are leaving for Gay Pride Atlanta<br />We go to many prides each summer around the country<br />normally, being moms<br />we leave in the dark of night<br />trimming any unneeded minute<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-corrected" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">condensing</span><br />so that the kids<br />have little time<br />without us<br />we leave at midnight<br />fly red eyes to LA<br />work 14 hour days and then return with no sleep<br />we leave lists and gifts and extra directions and love<br />we worry<br /><br />But this year<br />we decided<br />mommies need time<br />to love and play too!<br />so instead of flying<br />instead of red eyes<br />instead of dashing and sweating and forgetting<br />and losing our minds<br />my wife and I are driving<br />to Atlanta<br />girls on a road trip<br />Thelma and Louise<br />without the guns and men and crashing off the cliffs thing<br />we are taking time<br />for us<br />how novel eh?<br /><br />Last night I wrapped small gifts<br />so each morning a small surprise they would have<br />the house is full of food<br />the notes are written<br /><br />but today - we will simply be women<br />tattooed, windows down, music blaring<br />in love<br />road tripping<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">travelin</span><br />and only worrying a tiny bit<br />about the babies<br /><br />Take time<br />for yourselves<br /><br />and come see us in Atlanta<br />or on the R Family Cruise<br />or in P-Town for Family Week<br /><br />Maybe we will look more rested!<br /><br />Happy pride!Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-68522171495514821692008-06-24T08:04:00.008-05:002008-06-24T08:24:59.795-05:00do I look like I have a husband to you? - advice<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPDA1kZl0FgzOGmrfsTUdcvwPbDz91AX25Od_AyRugxShey7sOL2cQW0iG97UYwLBVQtHcwt3XCsdrP_1RutbiD8_uyyDjekOv1GUYJzqqFhWiMJu7pOyI-NjBkN1JCQY9C145Q/s1600-h/7.12.07+Download+375.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215434530594116898" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhOPDA1kZl0FgzOGmrfsTUdcvwPbDz91AX25Od_AyRugxShey7sOL2cQW0iG97UYwLBVQtHcwt3XCsdrP_1RutbiD8_uyyDjekOv1GUYJzqqFhWiMJu7pOyI-NjBkN1JCQY9C145Q/s320/7.12.07+Download+375.jpg" border="0" /></a>Dear evolved moms: We have visited and applied to 3 preschools for our son. ALL of the forms for ALL of the school have applications which read mother and father. He has TWO DADS! Crossing off and filling in is just not enough. Can we send him to a school that cannot even handle this simple form change to be inclusive? Exasperated dads!<br /><br />Dear Dads: <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_0">Ugg</span>!<br />I hear ya. The polite answer is yes.<br />you can send him<br />but you will also need to do some education around these issues<br />and about why they segregate and exclude <span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_1">GL</span> families<br />Choose a school based on all of the issues<br />the education, comfort and feel<br />love to your child.....<br /><br />okay - as I am not known for being polite<br />here is my other answer<br />I too and sick as hell<br />of the laziness and arrogance and heterosexism<br />that goes into moments like the ones you are dealing with<br />Schools, camps and companies need to wake up<br />and realize we all exist<br /><br />There are times,<br />when we do not feel like educating<br />or as you say - crossing out and filling in<br />why should we?<br /><br />This week I went to T-mobile<br />to get my wife a new phone<br />hers had broken<br />It had been a long day<br />I had two kids with me<br />and the clerk said<br />I was not an authorized user on the account<br />I said we were legally married<br />I had the Social security numbers and pins<br />finally she said<br />"your husband needs to come in to authorize you"<br />i just snapped<br />"DO I LOOK LIKE I HAVE A HUSBAND?<br />GET REAL LADY, LOOK AT THIS FAMILY.<br />THIS IS MASACHUSETTS FOR CHRISTS SAKE!"<br /><br />sometimes<br />we just have to say it like it is<br />not pussy foot around the issues<br />speak your mind.<br /><br />Am I advocating yelling<br />of course not<br />there were clearly better roads I could have taken<br />but sometimes<br />you just need to speak your mind<br /><br />We'd love for our son to come here<br />but our family needs to be included in all ways<br />and that includes the forms<br /><span class="blsp-spelling-error" id="SPELLING_ERROR_2">kapeesh</span>?<br /><br /><br /><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5215434097828231122" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh3lGfpRnHeTcFp9dcqxd0O7FEM2iXsYsqFK6-wfpkHCGmRq48fUnZX3p407yS-XLVuGq0cO3647njOf6ScQvacAlYqMT5YPp_j8jBnAdU8rukAKz-EVDuKAcIqq3Ud6h6QEAQl3w/s320/474329650503_0_BG.jpg" border="0" /> <div></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-81622599170088487652008-06-17T07:59:00.004-05:002008-06-17T08:28:51.291-05:00To parent or not to parent - advice to the unsure<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Z2rfHjLctCRRPmvrepdX2DAkS9dhpktaZURfeTSsbq5v4FyPolqvnl5zXT4pxLDDSxQ4FdVDwOymvNUGRB1FdVSm6mio06pJd9xgmggJ50bTXM7P47avVnb4uQ-p-IE4o9Ud5Q/s1600-h/pro+con.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5212837955562264130" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEg8Z2rfHjLctCRRPmvrepdX2DAkS9dhpktaZURfeTSsbq5v4FyPolqvnl5zXT4pxLDDSxQ4FdVDwOymvNUGRB1FdVSm6mio06pJd9xgmggJ50bTXM7P47avVnb4uQ-p-IE4o9Ud5Q/s320/pro+con.jpg" border="0" /></a> At Boston Pride this weekend<br />a lesbian couple<br />came up to our booth to shop<br />talk, get some advice<br />They asked all the hard questions<br />can you have it all? how hard is parenting? what do you give up?<br />can you still have your time? freedom? travel?<br />do you ever regret having kids?<br /><br />We all chatted for a while<br />one with Jessie, one with me, then all together<br /><br />Simply put<br />parenting is hard<br />if you are good at it<br />committed and dedicated<br />then<br />it is harder than just about anything you can possibly imagine<br />and every parent<br />wants to strangle their kids from time to time<br />in the rough moments<br />(Although most will deny that and I don't know why)<br />but<br />with that said<br />we wouldn't change it for the world<br />parenting is hard<br />but it is also the most loving<br />powerful, exhilarating roller coaster ride<br />full of moments so wonderfully intense you cannot imagine<br />little triumphs making your world a better place and<br />giving you renewed hope in the universe and in humanity<br /><br />My wife also made and amazing point<br />and I totally agree<br />that without being a parent<br />or having a very significant roll with children<br />one cannot fully evolve as an adult<br />and mature<br />and learn about ones self<br />(she said it better)<br /><br />screw the army<br />this is the toughest job<br />and it's all love<br />and I would not change a thing<br /><br />Evolved Mom - StaceyStaceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-21821903.post-47503332053615761012008-06-09T09:11:00.010-05:002008-06-09T17:12:30.277-05:00no time is wasted<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MFiCEnvKA9IRyhN6yh2epfRsqbhYg3ai3QAKSXFdME3S1hkqTd2iEEqcbCBDRzs6kd4o0zE-dkUqG_16ghqK5x-QwTI2JU740p92Z_U-L8XQfyfSNtA1vARekVlio_2WE9N5qQ/s1600-h/Zion_8th_Bday_Party+164.jpg"><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209890515077330066" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEj_MFiCEnvKA9IRyhN6yh2epfRsqbhYg3ai3QAKSXFdME3S1hkqTd2iEEqcbCBDRzs6kd4o0zE-dkUqG_16ghqK5x-QwTI2JU740p92Z_U-L8XQfyfSNtA1vARekVlio_2WE9N5qQ/s320/Zion_8th_Bday_Party+164.jpg" border="0" /></a> <div><div><div align="left">When I was 17</div><div><div>I found a place where I belonged</div><div>cambridge mass</div><div>harvard square</div><div>just outside the train station</div><div>the pit</div><div>Mohawks and nose rings</div><div>skateboards and suspenders</div><div>london in america</div><div>we looked angry and tough</div><div>we were really smushy and goofy</div><div>and happy and no one really knew</div><div>how soft we were inside</div><div>none of us judged each other</div><div>we were all different</div><div>which made us all the same</div><div>runaways and rich kids</div><div>gay and straight and virginal and unsure</div><div>and no one</div><div>cared</div><div>if I was a tomboy</div><div>blue haired</div><div>skateboarding girl</div><div>figuring myself out </div><div></div><br /><div>My mother</div><div>hated it</div><div>all of it</div><div>the hair</div><div>the kids</div><div>the skateboarding</div><div>the tough look</div><div>the separateness of it all</div><div>the difference</div><div></div><div></div><div>for me</div><div>it was freedom</div><div>acceptance</div><div>a place to work it all out</div><div></div><br /><div>When my son's 8th birthday</div><div>was approaching</div><div>this year</div><div>I asked him</div><div>what kind of cake he wanted</div><div>a hip hop dance party AND</div><div>A skateboard park cake </div><div>awesome I said</div><div>I happen to be an expert in that area</div><div></div><div>No time in life is wasted</div><div>if we use each moment to the fullest</div><div></div><br /><div>as parents we must accept all our kids have to show us</div><div>our job is to help them get to the next place</div><div>they need to be, where thay want to go</div><div>it is their journey</div><div>and I just feel so blessed</div><div>that sometimes</div><div>our adventures and life lessons</div><div>intersect</div><div></div><br /><div>peace</div><img id="BLOGGER_PHOTO_ID_5209890239803491490" style="DISPLAY: block; MARGIN: 0px auto 10px; CURSOR: hand; TEXT-ALIGN: center" alt="" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEhdEDzKdVZQ9nrGpv2BXIbqk1Wr2Ys4o1pQF6_YTg81_Wvjl3mx1dCwmeLDd6TziwuzUwn4ijTtiK2spOf2Pv2wtr7XBLaKgSiyjgFWtecZtD69NX67B1F6Xjr3qyRYNwOWisLUeQ/s320/Zion_8th_Bday_Party+230.jpg" border="0" /> <div></div><div></div><div></div><div></div><div>(Please note, that although my shirt looks preppy - those small white dots are actually skulls and I stole the shirt from my son - so all is still cool)</div></div></div></div>Staceyhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15516488790423043776noreply@blogger.com0