Saturday, April 29, 2006

Advice - in the closet with children

Sheri wrote to me this week from Kansas.
"My girl and I have been together for 7 years. We are raising the child I was pregnant with when we met. No one knows we are more than roommates. My daughter, our daughter, is asking questions. Lots of them. I don't want to tell her. Scared. Help."

Sheri, your daughter knows
your friends know
your neighbors know
your family knows
Free yourself
free your burden
teach your daughter to love herself
and be proud of herself
through your honesty and bravery
How will she learn true pride
when her moms
who adore her
are hiding?
I promise you this
you are not alone
we are here for you
and thousands of others
just like you
probably many right in your town
you will not be alone in this
it just takes one first step
be brave
hold your partner's hand
and speak the truth
we are here


At May 03, 2006 6:16 AM , Blogger Carolyn said...

Wow that sounds so familiar! My wife and I went through the same thing with my kids from my first marriage. We were "roommates" for years as my kids were growing up. At some point, I came out to them and they were so supportive and wonderful. Of course, they already knew and assured me that the rest of the world knew too. It is hard and scary and we didn't want to hurt the kids. Now my kids are 16, 18 and 20 and my wife and I have a 3 year old and a 6 year old. We are always talking to the little ones about having 2 Mommy's because we want them to celebrate their family. I'm not going to pretend that we haven't had our share of problems, because we have. We both work together and put up with years of being harassed. People eventually accepted us, or at least shut their mouths and left us alone. I used to say "The people that matter don't mind and the people that mind don't matter." It's a good way to get you through. We live in a very small town in middle Alabama, and trust me there are a lot of people that "mind", but who cares. We are a wonderful and loving family and we aren't hiding any more. Good Luck and let us know how you are doing!!

At December 13, 2006 5:37 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

I and my "roommate" of four years are in a similar situation. But how can we be brave enough to come out when we could possibly loose the rights to our five children (her 2, my 3 from previous marriages) if we do? Yes, the family has to know by now, and most of our friends have figured it out. But it is just accepted as how we present it, as roommates. Joking comments are made. But we can't come out, out of fear. Is it worth staying in the closet if it erases the fear of losing our children? I would love to be able to love on my wife in public, to be able to share our story with those we love, but we have to wait. Wait until the kids are grown, or wait until the laws change in our state. Whichever happens first....


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