Friday, July 06, 2007

white black brown - same same same

I took Zion to an audition
he wants to be famous
so we got him an agent.
we get calls
go for auditions
where he shines.

sometimes I can see the look
other parents
questioning our relationship
approving or damming
unsure and uncomfortable with difference
butchy woman
white
tall slender beautiful African young man
is this his foster mother?
guardian agent friend?

As I walked into the "green room"
another mom
unusual looking - like Iman
modelish
tall
very dark skin
nervous about her surroundings
first audition for her son
She held a baby on her lap
beautiful
maybe white, maybe Asian
big curls and no teeth
all cheeks

The mom looked at me shyly
she didn't even see us
didn't notice our difference
she said "no one ever thinks she's mine"
in her own world
prepared for judgement
as I always am
"my husband is Asian"
I laughed I smiled
no one ever thinks he's mine either

sameness
level
understanding
amazing moment

In the room of coffee and carbs
where the moms wait
she glanced at Z's pictures
she saw an image of my daughter
biracial
crazy hair
a knockout

Having black children
I am often given advice
usually unsolicited
from women of color
about my kids hair and skin
I am hyper aware of my duties
it gets my hackles up
it happens often
Like a beacon of bad parenting
or judgement

But in this moment
she asked me
for hair care advice for her daughter
she was nervous to ask
she was at a loss for what to do
a moment in time
amazing for me
amazing for her

white black brown
same same same

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2 Comments:

At July 09, 2007 1:42 PM , Anonymous Curly 1 said...

Send people to this website if they want hair advice.

 
At August 16, 2007 1:41 PM , Blogger Ana de Alejandro said...

Acceptance is the key word

 

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