Monday, July 02, 2007

Gay parents and traditonal roles

Dear Evolved Moms: My partner Doug and I are having a baby, a son!!! Our surrogate is five months pregnant and we are so excited. But the closer we get, the more anxiety I am having. What if he wants to play baseball and dig up worms? What if he loves to talk football? I guess I am traditional in they way some gay men are. I love old movies and baking and making our home pretty. I have so much love to give him, but what if he wants or needs someone more butch. Someone who can actually throw a football? Help I am totally freaking out. Love the blog... From sissy dad...

Dear Sissy Dad. Fear not. What you child needs is love
I am not the butchest game in town
but kids in a store ask their parents if I am a boy
I own not one dress
not one pair of heels
no makeup

When our daughter was born
something stirred in me
I called my wife from Toys R US
"honey, I am buying barrettes, should I question my sexuality?"

As my daughter has grown
she is now 4
she has become a fashion expert
Today she needed to find the perfect ensemble of purple and green
even matching undies
to match her dinosaur
she boldly tells us that we are
Not Fancy!
she tells us that our shoes do not match what we are wearing
and that she will ONLY wear dresses
and she loves us more than lie itself

My parents
never understood me
my mother wanted me girly from the first minute
sent me to modeling school to learn to walk like a girl
and bought me dresses - a lot!
that never worked
could never feel good or right or like love

Here is what I know
a child needs unconditional love
When my daughter wants to play dress up - I join her completely
when she wants a manicure, I do my best
messy but cute
we dance, we sing
and I am totally in love
and so is she

and your son will love you
For the first few years, anything you do will amaze him
even throwing a ball, catching a bug, or playing with mud
he will think you are an expert!
As time goes on, you will let him become the expert
and he will love to teach you
no need to worry
all will be well
I promise!

I will let her do my hair (when it's long enough to play with)
I will play dolls and draw butterflies
all to make her smile
You will play football too, if that is what he loves
and over time he will love that he is better than you at it
they need that too.

But kids love 10 million things
My daughter also loves bike riding
and camping
and drag queens and baseball

There is room and time for everything and you will be brilliant at it
because you have love


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