Friday, November 09, 2007

The Bathroom Quandary - Advice to two dads

Dear Evolved Moms: Where the hell is a family bathroom when you need one? Ron (my partner) and I were at the mall with our 5 year old daughter this weekend. She had to pee and, per usual, "NO FAMILY BATHROOMS!" When we took her in the men's room, people freaked out. She's not old enough to go alone to the ladies room. What can we do? -Tim

Hi Tim: Our seven year old son feels that he is ready to go in the men's room alone and I am totally not although he is VERY tall for his age and strong I just can't trust the world that much yet - nor a 7-year-old for that matter there are a million creeps in the world and although I try to believe that people are inherently good not so when it comes to my child's safety on top of that my son still forgets to look both ways crossing the street and never makes his bed and although he shows wisdom beyond his years he is interminably friendly to everyone he meets.

So here is my balance
when I know we are in a safe place
our MD office
a one stall public restroom
at ballet school...
I say okay, and let him go in the men's room
while I wait and look like a stalker outside
I usually though
force him to go into the women's room with me, which he hates!
this is ALWAYS interesting
as I look a bit like a boy and he almost a young man
many looks
but screw them all really
I need him safe
and we'd all really rather he pees, right?
third option - saved for VERY rare events
We went to a gay business expo in Boston
he was pitching a fit about wanting to use the men's room
I found a group of gay men going in
who had their own children with them
and I asked if they could take him in too
I paced outside the door
and in about 45 seconds my son returned happy as a clam
he had used the urinal
lovely for him
and also informed me that "Men don't use toilet paper"
lovely again.

So daddies remember this:

1) safety is key so just ignore the looks - she is more important than them anyway. And perhaps the onlookers might learn a thing or two about being a responsible and responsive parent!

2) occasional safe bathrooms exist and she will be so proud she went herself (although I still feel 5 is a bit too young)

3) When all else fails, look for like families and/or friends in common. But remember safety is way more important then the huge tantrum she will throw when you say no.

4) lastly - it is ALWAYS your right to barge into the opposite gender bathroom to check on her. That's a parent's job.

Please let me know how it goes and happy peeing!

Evolved Mom Stacey

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