Tuesday, October 07, 2008

Stupid Pokemon - advice

Dear Evolved Moms: After much deliberation we chose to send our kids to public school. We live in a great town with a great school system and pretty liberal and committed and involved parents. Now, after just a month, our 6 year old twins are sassy, argumentative and suddenly interested in children we would not chose for them not to mention activities we detest, like paintball and shows like "that's so raven" (which they have never seen). This is exactly what we were afraid of. But what can we do now. Moms from everytownamerica.


Dear Moms:
There is no way
as I have written many times before
to insulate, bubble wrap and filter your child
from the world
At a certain point
they will need to fall
make choices of their own
trust their intuition (and know where to find it and how to use it)
That being said
we all do our best
to help guide them
There is a kids who is around my son a lot
who NEVER shuts up
she pokes and man handles
is sassy and very rude
to kids and adults alike
she obeys no boundaries
she talks loudly in his face
I try hard not to tell him how much I dislike her
as a person
how much I detest her behavior
I try to say, how do you feel about what she is doing
or point out - wow she was speaking really loudly and close to you
How do you feel about that
or step in when it overwhelms him.
Pretty much unless we are talking politics or the Redsocks (where I tell my children all)
I try to be fairly neutral
which is hard for me
really hard
as I am extremely opinionated
but usually right (as I am sure you are too)
I d0 draw the line on violence and we have strict rules in our home
about such things.
no video games
no TV during the week
weekend TV no commericals . .
We went out of our way to help our son collect Bella Sara cards
Magical horse cards with magical powers
so he could still collect cars and feel part of gang, but not Pokemon
or other such stupid violent games.
And why do parents by these?
Just to drive me crazy I am sure!
I will never really know
weakness is my guess
to allow their children to fit in
maybe they justify the violence by believing that some learning is involved?
I don't know
Lazy maybe
aren't there better things our kids could be doing?
I remember collecting stamps, rocks, Lego's, books, teen beat magazines,
red sox cards,
pictures of joan jet and annie lenox tapes.....
anyhoo
no matter what we teach
our kids will always experiment
test the waters
and break all of our rules.
that's their job
that's how they learn and grow
Our job
is not to kill them when they make mistakes
we often say
you might not fully agree with our rules
and when you don't live here you can have whatever you want in your house
but these are the rules
and they are here to keep you safe and help you grow
because we love you
we keep door open to talk
and we talk a lot
no question is too hard
or adult
or scary
but sometimes
systems fail
That is why at 7:30 am today
when my wife found 2 Pokemon cards
and some other violent looking transformerish card
in Zions bag
we did not kill him
I actually left them out on his desk so he would know
we saw them
"sorry mama" he said as he carried them out
"I got them at school"
not a public school either - so don't think that is your issue
a 20,0000 dollar a year private school, with a
10-1 ratio
and parents who care and are involved
and like all parents
some make choices we might not agree with
just like some kids do
that is the world for kids
that is the world for adults
and your twins
just like my son
will need to learn to navigate those waters
"Please don't do it again"
"If they are truly your friends they will understand
that that is something you are not allowed to do"
and we move on
to another day
another lesson
another moment of teaching
and trying to walk the line
between smothering and teaching
protecting and allowing them to grow
preaching and repairing damage done
fearing and trusting
in them
Evolved Mom: Stacey

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3 Comments:

At October 15, 2008 10:05 PM , Blogger Charles said...

You are learning maybe. And they will get older and reject all your direction and criticism. I know. I rejected my parents and so did my daughter. You are in for a great downfall. Restrict your kids and they will reject you big time. Ask Jessie.
And nobody did anything but love her.
And she hates her family. Figure it out you perfect family's. No connection with your natural family, no problem? Correcto?
You will learn when it's too late.
Jessies Dad

 
At October 16, 2008 4:43 PM , Blogger Stacey said...

charles - your public criticism in a personal matter is out of place here - go *blog* yourself, chip...

-jessie

 
At October 22, 2008 9:35 PM , Blogger Suz and Lisa said...

Just sending love to you guys...and glad to know we're not the only parents with issues like these.

Jessie - I had a "Charles" of my own...sending sympathy and peace your way... :)

 

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