Stupid Pokemon - advice

Dear Evolved Moms: After much deliberation we chose to send our kids to public school. We live in a great town with a great school system and pretty liberal and committed and involved parents. Now, after just a month, our 6 year old twins are sassy, argumentative and suddenly interested in children we would not chose for them not to mention activities we detest, like paintball and shows like "that's so raven" (which they have never seen). This is exactly what we were afraid of. But what can we do now. Moms from everytownamerica.

Dear Moms:

There is no way

as I have written many times before

to insulate, bubble wrap and filter your child

from the world

At a certain point

they will need to fall

make choices of their own

trust their intuition (and know where to find it and how to use it)

That being said

we all do our best

to help guide them

There is a kids who is around my son a lot

who NEVER shuts up

she pokes and man handles

is sassy and very rude

to kids and adults alike

she obeys no boundaries

she talks loudly in his face

I try hard not to tell him how much I dislike her

as a person

how much I detest her behavior

I try to say, how do you feel about what she is doing

or point out - wow she was speaking really loudly and close to you

How do you feel about that

or step in when it overwhelms him.

Pretty much unless we are talking politics or the Redsocks (where I tell my children all)

I try to be fairly neutral

which is hard for me

really hard

as I am extremely opinionated

but usually right (as I am sure you are too)

I d0 draw the line on violence and we have strict rules in our home

about such things.

no video games

no TV during the week

weekend TV no commericals . .

We went out of our way to help our son collect Bella Sara cards

Magical horse cards with magical powers

so he could still collect cars and feel part of gang, but not Pokemon

or other such stupid violent games.

And why do parents by these?

Just to drive me crazy I am sure!

I will never really know

weakness is my guess

to allow their children to fit in

maybe they justify the violence by believing that some learning is involved?

I don't know

Lazy maybe

aren't there better things our kids could be doing?

I remember collecting stamps, rocks, Lego's, books, teen beat magazines,

red sox cards,

pictures of joan jet and annie lenox tapes.....

anyhoo

no matter what we teach

our kids will always experiment

test the waters

and break all of our rules.

that's their job

that's how they learn and grow

Our job

is not to kill them when they make mistakes

we often say

you might not fully agree with our rules

and when you don't live here you can have whatever you want in your house

but these are the rules

and they are here to keep you safe and help you grow

because we love you

we keep door open to talk

and we talk a lot

no question is too hard

or adult

or scary

but sometimes

systems fail

That is why at 7:30 am today

when my wife found 2 Pokemon cards

and some other violent looking transformerish card

in Zions bag

we did not kill him

I actually left them out on his desk so he would know

we saw them

"sorry mama" he said as he carried them out

"I got them at school"

not a public school either - so don't think that is your issue

a 20,0000 dollar a year private school, with a

10-1 ratio

and parents who care and are involved

and like all parents

some make choices we might not agree with

just like some kids do

that is the world for kids

that is the world for adults

and your twins

just like my son

will need to learn to navigate those waters

"Please don't do it again"

"If they are truly your friends they will understand

that that is something you are not allowed to do"

and we move on

to another day

another lesson

another moment of teaching

and trying to walk the line

between smothering and teaching

protecting and allowing them to grow

preaching and repairing damage done

fearing and trusting

in them

Evolved Mom: Stacey