Crazy Mother

Last week at Ballet school
my son
was playing with a boy
you all know this boy

he has a lot of trouble

controlling himself

ever seeing any boundaries

he almost seems pathological at times

but you know he isn’t

just a kid with some issues

and no limits at home

I was walking the boys

to another building

when the boy turned

and slapped my son on the arm

so hard

so loud

so out of nowhere

that I immediately yelled at him to never touch my son that way again

I was caught off guard

such a strange moment

peaceful to insanity in 2 seconds
This kid has always made me edgy
he’s combustible

I think there is more latitude for boys

in ballet

because there are so few

that they seem to want to keep them

regardless

so he stays

and plagues me

I told the director that I had some serious concerns

and she decided to speak to the boys the following week

so Tuesday

as I waited with zion for class

the other boys mom

came up to me

yelling

in front of zion

in front of my 4 year old

in front of all of the children

and tried to engage me

in a fight

totally blind to boundaries

her face red

her hands clenched

fierce

animalistic

I am not one to ever back down

I am just not good at it

but there were kids

my kids

and she was so in her own world

and then she yelled at zion

in front of us all

for no reason

and he looked at me

what did I do wrong he said?

nothing at all I said
looking at her

and I left

with my daughter

and had another mom

a sane one

stay with zion until class began

so I could contain myself

so I could talk to the director

my hands shaking

from this weird verbal assault

from fending off a high school level

purposeless bitch fight

in front of my kids

and then suddenly

in one second's time
this kid that has bugged me

for months

this kid that I have wanted to throttle

suddenly

I had nothing but love for him
and a good dose of pity

even when he is rude

and distracting

and horrid

it is clearly all he has been taught

from mommy

It's amazing how important

this job

of parenting is

their little lives

their huge dreams

depending on us

I had to be an adult

control myself

walk away

and now I will begin

to love a kid

I despise

because

someone must