Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Bubbled wrapped kids - advice

Dear Evolved Moms: My 5 year old son is not yet able to stay dry at night and I am BESIDE MYSELF! I am worried he will get teased at sleepovers, I am worried that he will feel bad about himself, I am worried that his self esteem will crumble as we seems to argue about it constantly! My mother says he's old enough to be dry. I can't stand this constant stress and bickering about pull ups and peeing at midnight. What can I do? He really doesn't seem to care that he's we 90% of the time. Mom who's sick of pull ups.

Whoa the sick of pull ups mom:
I think it's time to breath a bit
First of all your baby boy
and I did say baby
is only 5
many many many kids -
especially boys
are not dry by 5, 6, 7 even 9
and is he even old enough for sleep overs?

But I don't think that is the issue here

You cannot protect your child from everything
in fact
if you try
how will they ever relate in the world
with stress
and peers
and choices?
We want to keep them loved and safe - but not emotional invalids
or total stress cases

What I also hear
and I am sorry to be so blunt
is YOUR embarrassment with this issue
you want him dry
your mom thinks it's time
and you have put the pressure on

So I would like to give you a bit of perspective
being dry or wet a 5
is not a crisis to loose sleep over
and actually being dry 10% of the time should be celebrated in a kid struggling with is!

just to name a few reality checks to stress over for you

lets go smaller
a ten year old who cannot read
gay families in Florida
who cannot adopt
president bush
my wife getting diagnosed with Multiple sclerosis
Heath Ledger

all things to stress about
and then
after we stress and fret
we find
that life and love are and parenting and relationships
come in many beautiful forms
and can include so many things
even if some are lacking

we all go rounds with our kids
but praising the blessings
has far more power then
a constant negative banter
wouldn't you tune it out?

at this point in his life
I would put on the pull up and not check in about for another year at least!

no one goes to college in diapers
but many go with OCD and anxiety disorders...

he will be fine
you will be fine

Evolved Mom Stacey

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At March 08, 2008 7:35 PM , Anonymous LaRita Heet said...

Love this site -- love your tender words about your children and your wife. Just noticed your mention that she was diagnosed with MS - so sorry to hear this, but wanted you to know that life can be very "normal" with MS... just a different kind of "normal." I know; I've had it for 10 years. I've raised two children, a loving relationship with my girlfriend, and work as a freelance writer. I am also the editor of Jane and Jane Magazine, a magazine for the sophisticated lesbian lifestyle ( Life only gets better - not always easier - but always better, richer, both in spite of and because of the MS. If you or your wife would like to talk, please feel free to contact me at

In the meantime, keep up the great work, the terrific, funny blog, and the amazing Mommying. :-)
LaRita Heet,
Editor, Jane and Jane Magazine


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