Thursday, April 03, 2008

One Love - Advice to a closeted mom

Dear Evolved Moms: What is the best way to come out to your children? Mine are 7 and 5 and they have already been asking questions and want to see me kiss my girlfriend. I have explained a little bit to them. I told them that i liked girls...the kissing kind of like. They kind of understand, or so i thought. My daughter said, I'm gay because i like girls. like my friends at school and you... So i need some help explaining exactly what it means to be gay. Thanks
Dear Closeted Mom:
They know
in whatever way
a kid can understand
believe me
they get it
kids are super sensitive to difference
and wanting to fit in
They know your family looks different
and that had to not only be okay
but you need to be in charge of making it
almost a non issue
so when the comments fly
in 5th grade
or even when a curious 6 year old asks your kids where their daddy is
they can have a cool
non-defensive
and confident answer.
There is no room and no air to grow a family - in a closet.
I think all they need is love
and a little bit of exposure
the right words
and they will get it
Our kids are the same ages
But they have never had a day, when we weren't out
It's not about flaunting
its about living naturally
organically
and letting them see
that you are proud of who you are
We have told our kids
Our love is the same love
as other mommies and daddies have for each other
They know the words gay and lesbian-they say them loud at times
- even louder than we might be ready for
"hey mom? Is she gay" - they bellow across the park
We tell them that there are all kinds of love
and we make sure to have many kid appropriate books that show
families like ours
We go to gay family events from time to time
Contact Family Equality to see what is in your area
But the only important thing
is to be open and honest
teach them to be proud of you and of themselves by example
you have nothing to hide
and kids are funny
sometimes they really get it and don't need to know more
they will ask you if they do
In our house
we have hot a whole new level
sometimes the kids seem sad when I say
- you know guys, you might not be gay and that's okay!
we will love you like crazy no matter what you are
and no matter who you love!
Be open - be proud - teach pride
Evolved mama - Stacey

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1 Comments:

At April 07, 2008 9:03 AM , Blogger la gabi said...

So nice. I really enjoy reading you. Thanks!

 

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