One Love - Advice to a closeted mom

Dear Evolved Moms: What is the best way to come out to your children? Mine are 7 and 5 and they have already been asking questions and want to see me kiss my girlfriend. I have explained a little bit to them. I told them that i liked girls...the kissing kind of like. They kind of understand, or so i thought. My daughter said, I'm gay because i like girls. like my friends at school and you... So i need some help explaining exactly what it means to be gay. Thanks

Dear Closeted Mom:

They know

in whatever way

a kid can understand

believe me

they get it

kids are super sensitive to difference

and wanting to fit in

They know your family looks different

and that had to not only be okay

but you need to be in charge of making it

almost a non issue

so when the comments fly

in 5th grade

or even when a curious 6 year old asks your kids where their daddy is

they can have a cool

non-defensive

and confident answer.

There is no room and no air to grow a family - in a closet.

I think all they need is love

and a little bit of exposure

the right words

and they will get it

Our kids are the same ages

But they have never had a day, when we weren't out

It's not about flaunting

its about living naturally

organically

and letting them see

that you are proud of who you are

We have told our kids

Our love is the same love

as other mommies and daddies have for each other

They know the words gay and lesbian-they say them loud at times

- even louder than we might be ready for

"hey mom? Is she gay" - they bellow across the park

We tell them that there are all kinds of love

and we make sure to have many kid appropriate books that show

families like ours

We go to gay family events from time to time

Contact Family Equality to see what is in your area

But the only important thing

is to be open and honest

teach them to be proud of you and of themselves by example

you have nothing to hide

and kids are funny

sometimes they really get it and don't need to know more

they will ask you if they do

In our house

we have hot a whole new level

sometimes the kids seem sad when I say

- you know guys, you might not be gay and that's okay!

we will love you like crazy no matter what you are

and no matter who you love!

Be open - be proud - teach pride

Evolved mama - Stacey