Wednesday, April 25, 2012

I grew up a kid who struggled to learn to read. 
In a system that recognized dyslexia as a boy thing. 
all else was laziness
over chattiness
she is so verbal
cant possibly be her learning
she does not try
I was alternatively schooled
focus was on behavior and not learning. 
for years.....
In law school
I read every case out loud to Jessie, 
over coffee at a small cafe on Newbury street
or in our small apt
under lamplight
it was painful
and embarrassing
and romantic

I fear libraries 
shied away from reading to the kids at first. 
But slowly found my footing
forcing myself to read aloud
disregarding the stuttering
the tripping over any word I had not seen
had not memorized

Today, at 43, I cried at a book, 
or a book made me cry, 
for the first time ever.
amazing. scary. brilliant.
heart pounding and unfamiliar
I look for reassurance that this is normal
I realize I have missed so much
heart slowing down
I am ecstatic and exhausted 

43 is gonna be a great year.


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