Wednesday, June 03, 2009

Fresh vs frozen?

Dear Evolved Moms:

Okay we are ready to get prego! But, there are so many options of places and ways to get sperm, how do we know which road is best? We could use her brother (they look alike), frozen anon sperm, a friend.... Please help us!
mary and meg

Hey Mary and Meg,

I get asked this question often
and I could give you all of the pros and cons
of fresh vs frozen
talk about the best sperm banks
and the good bad and ugly of using a friend
but I figure
you are asking me because you know I am opinionated
so I am just going tell you what I think.

Using a sib, or any donor
to create someone that "looks" like both of you
is kind of false
the baby WILL be both of yours
just not biologically
so throw the "look" piece out

a small healthy bundle
with as few complications and red tape as possible is the goal

Throw the friend idea out too
you are good people
that says to me
that your friends are good people
good people
see babies that are biologically theirs
and naturally want to connect
complicated and messy
regardless of intent and love

a guy you meet at a bar
no attachments
also no trust
lots of potential yucky ailments and issues
complicated, okay gross too! (I guess free though)

Frozen anonymous pop
"A" answer in my book
pre-screened and tested for all medical issues
can be delivered to your door
no red tape
no legal documents
no third party emotions

and as long as I am being opinionated
Small plug - California Cryobank - a personal favorite
great history
good practices
and even a generic attractiveness scale of the donor!

no matter which road you choose
you will still need to figure out how to handle the yucky stuff
will you do it at home or have your OB do it?
ovulation kits, vitamins, yoga...
so much to do
so much to decide

I say for the sperm
take the easy road.

good luck! Can't wait to hear how it goes!

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At April 16, 2010 6:59 PM , Anonymous Anonymous said...

Very wise advice. I found Xytex also very pleasant to work with; that is where we got our sperm.


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